


Build Your House and Call Me Home

by cassiopeiasara



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Background Yatesbert, F/F, Friends to Roommates to Lovers, Holtzmann POV, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, domestic situations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-17 01:23:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8125087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiopeiasara/pseuds/cassiopeiasara
Summary: Patty chuckled. “You sure about this Holtzy? I’m not gonna follow you to a warehouse and find out by two bedroom you meant some abandoned office in the middle of Queens.”
  
  Holtzmann waggled her eyebrows. “Nope, but that’s an idea.”
  
  Patty shook her head and lifted a finger. “It’s only till I find a place.”

Holtzmann has figured out friendship and family but Home is still a new concept. When she invites Patty to move in, she finally starts to understand the meaning.





	1. Reach Out to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The idea for this was born out of a prompt amtrak12 thought of then morphed into something bigger but still a lot of this was inspired by her. Thank you to DiNovia for once again being an amazing beta and a great friend. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own these ladies and I seek no profit. Lyrics will be quoted at the beginning of each chapter and I have no rights to those. Title from "Sara" by Fleetwood Mac.

 

>   _Paper paper obsolete_
> 
> _How will you_ **_reach out to me_**
> 
> _I thought you’d ask me not to leave_
> 
> _Lonely Lonely that is me_

"Lonely Lonely"~Feist

Holtzmann blinked against the light streaming in through the window. She expected to see a bunk above her but her eyes spotted a white vaulted ceiling instead. After a few minutes of scanning the room, she recognized a crack in the upper right hand corner. She shook her head and ran a hand over her face.

She tried to move her legs but found the movement restricted. She thrashed against the blankets, immediately falling toward the floor.

“Ugh,” she sighed as she looked around. Her head ached in a way it normally didn’t and the movement of her legs reminded her of the soreness in them. She looked down at the blankets and found a familiar red plaid pattern on the comforter. She was in her apartment but couldn’t quite remember how she got there.

There was a buzzing from her nightstand. She reached up, felt for her glasses, slipped them on and clicked her phone screen.

_We have a bust in an hour and a half. Where the fuck are you?_

It was Abby. Holtz replied that she was on her way and managed to get out of the tangle of blankets. Her body protested every movement and she wished she wasn’t so far from the firehouse. She made her way to the bathroom and noticed some of her clothes from the night before. Suddenly, she was struck by the image of a brunette a little taller than she was.

_“Pretty place,” Shelly commented as she had a look around._

_Holtzmann shrugged and threw her keys on the table near the door. Shelly moved toward her as Holtz closed the door and brought her hands on either side of Holtz’s face. “What do you say we check out the bedroom?”_

_Holtz smiled and lifted her lips up to meet the other woman’s. She still wasn’t quite sure about one night stand etiquette but if this lady was game to lead, she’d follow. Her lips increased their pressure and she pressed the woman against a nearby wall._

_Shelly let out a small sigh and smiled. “I knew I’d like you.” She removed Holtz’s shirt and her hands flew to lightly graze Holtz’s newly exposed stomach._

_Holtz moved her hands to Shelly’s waist but stopped when she noticed that somewhere in the last few minutes,  Shelly's body stiffened. Holtz withdrew her hands and tilted her head as she looked up. “Wha-”_

_Shelly pointed toward the kitchen. “What the hell is in there?”_

_Holtz had really intended to clean two nights ago but it was obvious from the state of her kitchen, she forgot like many household chores. It wasn't her fault that she never saw much of her place._

_“Umm,” Holtz started._

_Shelly shook her head. “You know, maybe I should go.”_

_Holtz squinted at her. When had the mood shifted? She couldn't pinpoint the need for the energy change. “What? Why?”_

_The woman gave her a strained smile. “How ‘bout you call when you're actually up for company?” Her voice was laced with a not too subtle hint of judgment. It reminded Holtz of awkward dinner parties and itchy clothes that never fit._

_She moved so the woman could leave. She knew she wouldn't be able to convince her to stay anyway._

_“Uh, good night,” Shelly muttered from the doorway._

_Holtz sighed as the door shut._

There had to be a formula there, some piece of the puzzle she kept missing. Erin mentioned a couple weeks ago that maybe she needed a relationship but those didn't really make sense. Hell, she'd just figured out friendship. So a one night stand was supposed to work. Meet pretty woman, take her home, get busy as Patty phrased it and the woman leaves in the morning. Only she always tripped up somewhere in the beginning. Shelly was the third woman in as many months that, for whatever reason, had left before they’d made it to Holtz's bedroom. She had no idea where the change came from. One night stands were easier in school when expectations were lower and Holtz didn't feel so out of her element.

She concluded that getting laid didn't seem to be on the table any time soon. Science was a better lover anyway. She kept things interesting and most mysteries Holtz encountered were solvable given enough time and creative leeway. If only the rest of her life behaved the same.

She took out her hair tie and gave her hair a rinse as she showered before she hopped out, grabbing her box of bobby pins. She realized it might take too long to pin it properly and opted for a clip instead. She could fix it after the bust.

It had been too long since she did laundry but she found a Ramones t-shirt that smelled passable and pulled on her jeans from the night before. There was a bandana somewhere in the living room and she tied it around her hair. She paused at the worn picture of her great aunt Jillian hanging in the doorway. She bit her lip and nodded toward the picture. “Go forth and do great things,” she whispered.

Holtz grabbed her wallet and keys then headed out the door. Joan, the retired professor from next door, called out to her as she picked up her morning paper. “Take care in your studies of the cosmos, dear Doctor, I fear the tide is turning soon and your safety is at risk.”

Holtz turned on the stairs and considered a moment before she licked her thumb and shot it in the air. “You might be onto something, Joan. I’ll keep you abreast of the situation.”

Joan nodded and Holtz continued on her way out.

* * *

Kevin was engaged in pull-ups with a bar anchored in the front doorway when Holtz arrived. She wondered what would happen if she poked him.

“Lookin’ good there, Wolverine,” she greeted as she ran in during his lift up. Maybe she'd poke him later.

He looked back at her and lost his balance. He fell hard onto the floor and Holtz threw him a grin. He cocked his head to the side as he rubbed his back.

“Don’t confuse him Holtz,” stated Abby as she walked in with a donut and some notes. She handed Holtz both. “We got ten minutes and I need some adjustments for your new gun.”

Holtzmann gave a small salute before she accepted the items and made her way to her lab. She passed Erin and Patty on the way who were already in their uniforms. They’d been whispering before Patty noticed her.

Patty threw her a smile but it didn't reach her eyes. It was strange. Patty was usually very chipper in the morning but today, her shoulders were slumped and she didn’t say anything. She just nodded.

“Morning, Holtz,” greeted Erin. Her eyes were a little frantic in the way they often moved when she was trying to solve an equation.

“Hey,” offered Holtz. She wanted to ask Patty what was up but she wasn't sure how. She tried to remember if she’d done anything in the past few days, ruined a book, broken a rule or forgotten something important, but she couldn’t think of anything. She gestured toward her lab.

Erin smiled, “Yeah, we’ll see you downstairs.”

Holtzmann fixed the gun with Abby’s new calculations and suited up quickly. She made it to the stairs just as Abby was poised to yell up at her. They did one of their ritual handshakes and as Holtz turned toward the garage, she saw Erin and Patty hunched toward each other. Whatever they'd been whispering about was still going on. She opened her mouth to ask when Abby spoke.

“Let’s go.”

Abby took the driver’s seat when they walked into the garage and Erin hesitated a moment before she climbed into the passenger seat. This left Holtz in the back with Patty.

When they were settled, Patty glanced at her phone and sighed.

Holtzmann adjusted her glasses and threw Patty a smirk. “What’s up, buttercup?”

Patty gave her another one of those smiles that didn't reach her eyes. “Nothing for you to worry about, baby.” Her tone was strained but gentle.

The response let Holtz know that at least Patty’s mood hadn’t anything to do with her. Before she could ask what was wrong in a different way, they were off and the conversation turned to the details of their mission.

* * *

The bust turned out to be a pretty simple one which left Holtz with not a lot to do and bored out of her mind. She took inventory of her supplies, something she hadn’t done since she needed to catalogue things for their liability insurance. (At Abby’s encouragement, she’d left a few of her more explosive materials off the list.)

She was struck with an idea when she found some old bungee cords. She attempted to rig them into a harness and started to calculate what might be needed to shoot and swing at the same time when Abby wandered in.

Holtz popped her head up at the movement and looked behind her friend, expecting Patty and Erin to follow in behind her. Abby followed her line of sight and shook her head.

“They’re eating in Patty’s office.” She cleared off a place for them to eat, careful not to knock anything over. Holtz always appreciated Abby’s respect for her space.  

While it wasn’t strange for any of them to eat alone or break off in pairs, Holtz was still curious about what might be causing Patty’s weird mood and all the whispering with Erin. Her whole day felt weird, really, and it was probably due in no small part to waking up in her rarely-used apartment.

Abby snapped her fingers in front of Holtz’s face bringing her out of her wondering. She pointed at Holtz’s sandwich and began eating her own. “You never told me where you were this morning.”

Holtz bit into her sandwich and spoke around it, “My apartment.”

Abby raised her eyebrows. “You still have one of those?”

Holtz threw a slice of onion at her. Abby moved out of the way in record time. Holtz laughed and nodded. “Yeah, I had a date.”

Patty was better at talking about things like this but Patty wasn’t here and Abby was her best friend. This was what best friends did when they weren’t talking science, right?

“A date?” Abby said it in the same tone she used when she used to grumble about faculty meetings, which Holtz never really understood since they skipped them half the time.

Holtz swallowed her food and nodded. “Yeah, I hear those are things the common folk go on from time to time.”

Abby shrugged. “Never really been my thing.”

Holtz thought briefly of the time before Erin came back and Abby lamented about the sad lack of women who understood the magic of physics. She rolled her eyes. “You think they’re mine?” They stared at each other a few moments before they burst out laughing.

When they calmed, Abby adjusted her glasses and asked, “How’d it go?”

Holtzmann sighed. “She left.”

“Left where?”

“The apartment.”

Abby quirked an eyebrow. “Why was she there?”

Holtz shrugged. “She wanted to come up.”

Abby raised her eyebrows and peered over her glasses. “Then she just left?”

Holtz nodded and Abby shrugged. Maybe they should just stick to science. Holtz finished her sandwich then rolled the paper up like a basketball and tossed it in her trashcan. She threw her hands up in the air as she made the shot.

She turned back to Abby and picked up a small pair of wire cutters. “Maybe I should just refrain.”

Abby cocked her head to the side. “From what?”

Holtz rolled her eyes as she cut a small pair of cords. “Courtship.”

Abby nodded. “Well, it’s not as if we don’t have enough work to do.”

Holtz wanted to point out that not everyone could be so lucky as to have the love of their life pop back up after eighteen years but she was too thrilled at how much happier Abby was that the mention seemed futile.

Holtz threw her thumbs up in agreement. “Speaking of, I have something to show you.” She dropped her wire cutters and picked up her previous project.

They spent the next hour discussing Holtz’s flying harness which Abby ultimately had to veto. She noted, though, there was a benefit to considering such a device when they thought about having to shoot a ghost while being thrown in the air.

* * *

Holtzmann was sequestered in her lab a few days later stuck on her latest device. She heard Abby and Erin engaged in their reports downstairs and dismissed the idea of chatting with them.

She thought of Patty, instead. She’d been a little better the past few days and Holtz wondered if whatever had been bugging  her was over. Also, Patty brought in cookies this morning and Holtz wouldn't mind a mid-afternoon snack. She threw her set of wires on her table and wandered toward Patty’s office.

She pushed past Patty’s door and almost tripped over a pile of suitcases. Patty was typing furiously on her laptop and hadn’t looked up at Holtzmann’s entrance.

“Going on a sabbatical?” Holtz was joking but she was a little worried the answer might be yes.

Patty rubbed a hand over her face and shook her head. “Nah, I got to find a new place to stay. The owner of my building sold the property and the new management fools increased my rent by eighty percent. I got till the end of the month to vacate which is like two weeks away.” She turned back to her laptop. “I forgot how crazy finding a place in this city is.”

Holtzmann nodded and tapped her finger with her chin. “You can live at my place.”

Patty looked back up at her and raised her eyebrows. “What place?”

Holtz tilted her head. “My apartment, my pad, my humble abode.”

“I thought you lived here, with how many times I find you asleep in your lab or the bunks.”

Holtz shook her head. “I have a two bedroom. I’d need to move some of my babies out of the spare but there’s a bed.”

Patty sighed. “I must be crazy.” She pushed up from her chair and circled her desk. She folded her arms as she leaned against it.

Holtz felt that somehow this moment was significant but she couldn’t pinpoint why exactly. “I’d say you’re decently sane.”

Patty chuckled. “You sure about this, Holtzy? I’m not gonna follow you to a warehouse and find out by two bedroom you meant some abandoned office in the middle of Queens.”

Holtzmann waggled her eyebrows. “Nope, but that’s an idea.”

Patty shook her head and lifted a finger. “It’s only ‘til I find a place.”

Holtz waved a hand in dismissal. “Whatever.” She turned to study a book on the shelf behind her and felt long arms wrap themselves around her. The contact reminded her that she’d missed Patty these past few days.

Patty leaned down and whispered in her ear. “Thanks, baby.”

The sensation caused a shiver to run down her spine. Sometimes, Patty’s presence brought about sensations Holtz couldn’t quite explain yet, but the experience was far from unpleasant.

“And if it does turn out to be some sketchy ass building, I’m gonna kill you.” Patty straightened herself and pinched Holtz in the side.

Holtz laughed and turned to punch Patty in the arm, Patty dodged in time to miss it. Holtzmann frowned.

Patty placed her hands on her hips and tilted her head. “Did you need something before I just dumped all my shit on you?”

Holtz nodded. “I came in search of inspiration and cookies.”

Patty rolled her eyes and moved to her desk drawer. She produced a small plastic container. “You know, I used to think physics might be your true love but it’s definitely food.”

Holtz reached out and pulled a cookie out. She had it in her mouth when she smiled up at Patty as she spoke around it. “Come now Patricia, who could resist this confectionary perfection?”

Patty made her way to the worn brown leather couch that she kept in her office. She patted the seat next to her. “Come explain this thing that’s got you stuck.”

How did she always know? Holtz tucked the question away for later investigation.

She skipped over and plopped herself beside Patty. As she spoke, she started to think of different ways to fix her new invention and smiled at Patty’s suggestion of some copper wiring for a new ghost trap. It wouldn’t work but Holtz appreciated her insight nonetheless.

* * *

Holtzmann lugged one of Patty’s suitcases into her apartment. “Home, sweet home,” she proclaimed. She said it with a dramatic flourish but she knew how empty the word was for this place.

Patty whistled as she walked in past her. “Damn, you live here?” She roamed into the living room and reverently stroked some of the built-in bookshelves.

Holtz noted for the first time how empty they were. “Yeah,” she muttered as she pulled the rest of Patty’s things in from the hallway.

Patty continued to walk around the living room and pointed to some of the pictures hanging above the fireplace. “I wouldn’t think art deco was really your style, Holtzy.” She pointed to a floor lamp near the couch. “Or that you’d be into something so fancy.”

Holtz shrugged. There wasn’t much in this apartment that was truly hers but she wasn’t sure how to explain it yet. “Most of it is…” she paused and searched for the right word. “Inherited.”

Patty raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those undercover millionaires that’s got random royal ties and shit. From what I've read about this part of the city, it's full of old money.”

“Why? You don’t wanna be a princess, Pats?” Holtz tilted her head with a grin.

Patty laughed. “Nah, all those rules and responsibility ain’t for me. Wouldn’t mind the jewelry though. Where you want me?”

Holtz paused as images she knew she shouldn’t think popped up in her head. She saw herself and Patty making out on the couch, leaned over the workbench they were currently standing near, and laughing as they try to fit in her shower together. She shook her head to clear it. Maybe it had been too long since she’d gotten laid.

“Umm,” she started but couldn’t figure out how to finish.

Patty quirked an eyebrow. “The spare room?” Holtz was momentarily distracted by the playful twinkle in Patty's eyes.

Holtz turned to the hallway and nodded. “Oh, yeah.” She moved down a small hallway and pointed to her right.

Patty opened the door,took a look around, and gestured toward the pile of devices in the corner. “You were right about your babies. Feel free to work on clearin’ them out. I don’t want to end up getting blown up just trying to get to bed.”

She placed a small bag on the chest of drawers, one of the only empty spaces in the room.

Holtz shuffled in and grabbed the nearest contraption. “Anyone tell you that you worry too much, Patty?”

Patty rolled her eyes. “No one that valued their life. I’ll go fix something to eat.”

She exited and it occurred to Holtz that there might be something she needed to mention but she couldn’t think of what it was.

“ _Holy shit_ ,” exclaimed Patty.

Oh yeah, the kitchen. Holtz took an armful of inventions and placed them on her work table before she joined Patty. “Told you that weird food truck looked like my kitchen.”

Patty’s eyes widened as she continued to take the room in. “Has the CDC been notified? Cause this shit is somethin’ else.”

Holtz followed her gaze and noticed the pans everywhere, stains on the wall, and some odd smells coming from the closet with the trashcan. There was a cast iron skillet on the stove top with a brown substance crusted at the edges.

“Paella,” commented Holtzmann.

Patty crossed her eyebrows. “Huh?”

“What I was making,” answered Holtz. Hadn’t that been the question?

She thought back to a few nights ago and the look of horror on her date’s face. She expected Patty to have a similar expression even though her presence was for an entirely different purpose. Holtz realized she didn’t ever want to see Patty look at her like that, as if she was just wrong somehow.  

Thankfully, Patty just sighed and asked, “You at least got some rubber gloves?”

Holtz nodded and grabbed them from a drawer.

Patty slipped them on. “Little tight but I’ll make it work. You finish up my room and I’ll take care of this.”

Holtz nodded and made her way back to Patty’s room. _Patty’s room_ , she felt warm at the thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're like me and multichapter fics make you nervous, rest assured, this whole thing has been written. I just wanted to post in parts for ease in reading and to make any last minute changes/additions based on feedback. There will be very little wait time for chapters (maybe just a couple days) 
> 
> Come chat with me on tumblr (same name) if you'd like. :)


	2. A Home (for you), for me

> _This is a place where I don’t feel alone_
> 
> _This is a place where I feel at home_
> 
> _Cause I built_ **_a home for you, for me_**

“To Build A Home”~Cinematic Orchestra

There were no real changes the first week. Well, none that Holtz noticed but really her sense of time could never be trusted. She knew though that the first change she saw happened in the second week because earlier that day Abby had asked how the previous week had gone.

Holtz walked into her apartment and almost tripped over something. She looked down to find a mat with animal paw prints that read “wipe your paws”. She tilted her head at the addition and saw a small shoe rack next to it with a pair of tennis shoes, boots and a bright pink pair of heels. The space between the shelf and floor was empty.

“Baby, is that you?” came a voice from the living room.

“It is I,” she called back.

Holtz abandoned the mat and shoe rack in search of Patty. She came into view as Holtz entered the living room. She was propped up on the side of the couch that Holtz could never find comfortable. It was a mint green loveseat covered in white lace flowers and a golden back. It reminded Holtz of a ramrod posture she never perfected and tea parties she never understood the point of.

Patty’s smile made it inviting somehow with a book and a mug in her hands. Holtz felt that familiar warmth start to spread in her chest as her eyes met Patty’s.

Patty lowered her book and asked, “How’d it go?”

Holtz tilted her head. “Huh?”

Patty nodded toward Holtz’s bag. “That junkyard? Old carburetor parts?”

“Oh,” Holtz pulled the parts in question out of her bag, “yeah, I’m just missing one piece but I have an appointment with one of Dr. Gorin’s protégées to find it.”

Patty nodded and stuck her bookmark in her book as she placed it and her mug on the end table. “I made some pasta for dinner if you hungry.”

Holtz’s stomach growled.

Patty chuckled and pointed at Holtz’s middle. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Holtz nodded and followed her to the kitchen. She hopped up on the counter which Patty shook her head at but handed her a container just the same and a fork knowing Holtz was too hungry to heat it up.

After a few bites, Holtz pointed toward the front door. “Fancy new stuff you got.”

Patty shrugged. “I thought it might be better than tripping over our stuff all the time. I left the bottom for you but you don’t gotta use it if you don’t want to. It’s your place.” There was something in her tone that caused Holtz to look at her curiously.

Holtz could see the logic in storing things away. “I can’t promise, I’ll always remember but I can try.”

Patty smiled. “Works for me. Wanna watch a movie?”

Holtz bit her lip and gestured toward her workbench. “Innovation calls to me.”

Patty nodded. “I got you--you don’t mind if it’s on in the background?”

Holtz shook her head and Patty walked back into the living room.

Holtzmann finished her dinner soon after and placed her empty bowl in the sink. She wondered if Patty was really fine with her working instead of whatever cinematic experience she’d planned. When Holtz offered her apartment, it seemed logical. Patty needed a place and she had one. It occurred to her now though that there might be _expectations_ in entertaining someone else.

_Never let a guest idle,_ her mother’s voice whispered like a distant memory. _They expect to have something to do_.

Holtz shook her head. Patty would watch a movie, that was something to do and Holtz had work to do. Important work. She moved toward her workbench and started to sort through her newfound parts as she made a plan of attack. She couldn’t hear what Patty was watching but she caught a chuckle every now and then.

Patty’s laughs were like Patty’s smiles. They varied in volume but they always emanated a kind of joy that made Holtz want to join in on the fun. There was something different about hearing them here with only the two of them. Something more intimate that left Holtz a little thrown off. Was that something everyone felt when they moved in with a friend?

Holtz shook her head and honed in on her task. She started with setting about making a power source. She didn’t notice how long she’d been at it or when the T.V. was shut off but she looked up at some point and Patty was standing in front of her with a mug. She wore a curious expression and Holtz tilted her head in consideration.

Patty held the mug up. “I made you some coffee.” Holtz nodded but didn’t move to take the mug just yet. Patty looked like she wanted to say more and something about the way she hesitated told Holtz she might want to listen.

Patty gestured toward the space around them. “You said this place was inherited?”

Holtz nodded. “Hmm, my spinster aunt.” There was something wistful in her tone. Patty’s eyes implored her to continue. Holtz started to rock back and forth on her heels. “That’s what my mother called her, a spinster. She lived here, worked at charities, threw parties. She left it to me when she died.” Holtz took a look around, a little lost in memories of the one family member she ever really liked. She cleared her throat. “Told me to do great things. She always said that before we went anywhere. Go forth and do great things.”

“Bet she was proud of you.” Patty nodded as she finally handed the mug to Holtz. “How long you been here? There’s not a lot of stuff I’d guess is yours.”

Holtz took a look at the empty walls and the bookshelves that were spare save for a few old textbooks and the recent addition of Patty’s books. She shrugged and turned back to her project.

She picked up a screwdriver and commented, “Not really here much.”

“Yeah, I can see that. What about putting a little more in though for when you are here. You already got a good setup for a mini version of your lab here.” She gestured toward Holtz’s table then took another look around. “I like spending time at HQ just as much as the rest of you but sometimes you just want a place that feels like _home_.”

Patty said the word with so much affection but when Holtz thought of all the places she called home, she couldn’t muster up any of the same feeling. She thought of her ugly pink childhood bedroom, endless hallways, rooms she was never allowed in except for holidays and walls covered in art she’d never understand. She didn’t want that. “I’m not much for the art of decoration.”

Patty nodded. “I guessed that but yo, I could help.” Holtz bit her lip as she set her tool down and squinted up at Patty unconvinced. Patty winked. “Don’t worry, Holtzy, I wouldn’t make you get anything you hated. It’s yours, let’s make it look like it.”

Holtz sighed. She did like spending time with Patty and she could never find excuses to do so that didn’t involve ghost hunting. Still, she hated shopping but it was possible that with Patty it wouldn’t be too bad.  

“No pink,” she said as she pointed up at Patty.

Patty waved her hand in dismissal. “Girl, I know you; I wouldn’t dream of using pink.” Patty paused. “As much as you hate safety lights though, we’re going to have to make sure to have nothing that blows up. Save that shit for HQ.”

Holtz rolled her eyes. “Alright.” It might be nice to feel like the place was more hers and not just a ghost of her great aunt.

Patty nodded. “Good, we can start tomorrow. It’s the weekend and we don’t have another bust till Monday.”

Holtz gestured toward her table. “But I need to-”

Patty placed a hand on Holtzmann’s forearm. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll make sure you get lab time.”

Holtz nodded. “O.K.”

* * *

Holtzmann ran her hands along the shelves as she skipped slowly behind Patty. She would have gladly ridden in the shopping cart but Patty vetoed that upon arrival.

Patty picked up a plate with green circles. “How bout these?”

“Why?” asked Holtz. She already had plates.

Patty smiled. “‘Cause I counted only four plates in those cabinets. What if you invite more than me, Erin and Abby over?”

Holtz shrugged. “Kevin is skilled at eating with his hands.”

Patty rolled her eyes. “O.K. but this way we can wash dishes less often.”

Holtz couldn’t argue with that and the pattern on the plates reminded her of stanford math circles. She nodded.

“Good, let’s get some dishtowels.”

Holtz let out an indignant huff. “Pats, I told you, there’s no radioactive residue on the ones I already have.”

Patty raised her eyebrows. “First, no you didn’t. Second, I didn’t even consider that. Third, we definitely getting them now.”

Holtz bounced on the balls of her feet and rolled her neck.

Patty offered a sympathetic smile. “There’s candy two aisles over, grab some and it’ll help with the boredom.”

Holtz beamed and ran to the aisle Patty indicated. Two boxes of DOTS and one of Reese’s pieces later, they had placemats, towels, and a new skillet to replace the one Holtz ruined during her last cooking endeavor.

When they got home and put everything away, Holtz had to admit it felt fuller.

* * *

A week later, Erin asked if they’d all like to go out. Patty jumped on the idea and though Holtz had a million things she’d rather do, she couldn’t pass up a night with her friends.

She sat in a pair of dark jeans, her 'one of the boys’ tank top and a black vest. Abby sat with her in jeans and one of her regular button up shirts. Abby had commented that she was being forced to go and refused to wear anything special.

Abby's eyes scanned the apartment. “It looks different.”

Holtz followed her gaze toward the new recliner near the couch, a rug in the middle of the floor that made Holtz feel like she was walking on a cloud to the shelf she’d added to host a few pictures. She shrugged. “Yeah, Patty has taken it on as a project. She thinks I'd like it more with things I like.”

Abby nodded toward a framed picture of a supernova. “Looks good. Also I can actually move around in this place now without clearing a path through your clothes.”

Holtz rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t that bad.”

Abby squinted at her. “I’m sorry, have you met you?”

Holtz smiled. “No, what’s that like? Am I cool? Are you threatened by my sweet moves?”

Abby laughed and threw a pillow at her.  

Erin appeared a few minutes later with her hair pinned up, a patterned skirt and a shimmery black blouse. She shuffled over to them and fiddled with her hands as she greeted them. “Hi.”

Abby stood up with her mouth opening and closing slowly. It reminded Holtz of a fish. She tilted her head in consideration and her eyes flew between the other two women.

Abby spoke in a weird breathy tone Holtz had never heard. "You look..." She paused and took Erin in. "Good."

Somehow Holtz felt like the word wasn't exactly the one Abby intended to use but it made Erin smile just the same.

"Thanks, Abs."

Holtz was struck with a feeling she so rarely had around the two of them these days. A feeling that said she’d intruded on something. She gestured toward Erin's outfit. "I see you've forgone the bow tie."

Erin didn’t flinch (much), used to Holtz's teasing by now. "Patty thought I'd look better in this." She did an awkward half-twirl.

Abby swallowed hard and nodded. "Patty was right."

Holtz thought Abby ought to take a deep breath; she sounded like she might pass out.

Erin smiled bigger and swayed a little bit. Holtz could tell she was pleased but how long were they going to stand here?

Holtz stood. “Where’s Patty?” she asked.

Erin turned from Abby and answered, “She was right behind me.”

Patty stepped out from the corner and Holtz felt the air slip from her lungs. Patty smiled from where she stood and addressed the group. “Y’all ready?”

Holtz shook her head. Ready? How could she ever be ready for this?

Patty was dressed in a sleeveless black dress that hugged her body like her favorite denim skirts. The lack of sleeves showed off Patty’s arms (arms that Holtz never forgot saved her life multiple times and she enjoyed seeing). The dress’s short length convinced Holtz that Patty’s legs could go on for days. Patty had forgone her signature necklace for golden hoops that bore her name on the bottom rim as if she’d scrawled them herself. If asked, Holtz would freely admit that she looked nothing short of a goddess.

“Holtz, you coming?” asked Abby.

Holtz tore her eyes away from Patty and noticed somewhere in her attempt not to hyperventilate, Erin and Abby moved to join Patty.

She didn’t trust her voice and just nodded as she locked up behind everyone and followed them out. They took the subway with Patty explaining some history about the club they were off to. Holtz tried her best to listen but she couldn’t form a thought beyond, _Patty is so pretty_.

It wasn’t like Holtz had never noticed before--it was hard not to--but for the first time, she couldn’t get over how radiant Patty was. She watched Patty laugh at something Erin said and Holtz suddenly felt that butterfly feeling her sister always talked about. It was different though, instead of a light fluttering, she felt like she played host to a group of cicadas causing waves of feeling to both flow through her and constantly buzz.

Patty tilted her head in concern right before they entered the club. “You ok, baby?”

Holtz cleared her throat. “Good. I’m good.” She nodded and followed behind Abby,  she didn’t trust herself to say anything more eloquent than that.

She needed a beer or maybe a shot of tequila. When they reached the bar, she shouted to her friends. “I got drinks.”

Patty leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “Get me something fruity.”

Holtzmann shivered and nodded. Yeah, a shot was most definitely called for. She took one before carrying three drinks to the other women who’d migrated to a high table a few feet from the dancefloor.

Erin swayed a little to the music and Holtz wondered how someone could manage to sway offbeat. Abby laughed and Patty giggled as Holtz finally reached them.

Erin smiled and reached for her cocktail. “Thanks, Holtz.”

Abby grabbed her beer. “You’re the best, I hate those damn lines. Why don’t they just take an order at the door and come find you?”

Patty rolled her eyes and took a sip of her daiquiri. She winked at Holtz as she gave her a once over. “Good job, baby.”

Holtz gave her a short nod and moved her gaze to a weird picture behind Erin. She needed to get her breathing back to normal. She thought it might prove to be an impossible task with Patty looking at her like this.  

Patty turned to Abby and pointed a finger at her. “Stop complaining and have some fun.”

Abby peeked over her glasses and narrowed her eyes. “I am having fun.” She lifted her drink and took a sip. “See? Me and fun.”

Holtz looked up and smiled at her. Despite the chorus of cicadas still bursting with feeling in her stomach, she was glad to be here. She appreciated all the extra time with Patty lately and their continued work with ghosts but she’d missed the four of them hanging out.

Erin sipped her drink and winked at Patty. “Don’t expect miracles, Patty. We got her out; that’s half the battle.”

Abby rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re a fan of having your shoes stick to the floor and paying a fortune for watered down drinks.”

Erin sighed. “I’m a fan of us having a good time and we can’t stay cooped up all the time.” She set her drink on the table and extended a hand to Abby. “Let’s dance.”

Abby pointed to the DJ booth. “To this weird electronic noise?” Erin dropped her hand and rolled her eyes.

Patty checked her phone and commented, “Give it a minute, they about to switch DJs.”

Holtz raised an eyebrow at that. Abby was right; this DJ was too much.

Sure enough, five minutes later the DJ changed and Holtz smiled at the song choice. She understood now why Patty picked this place.  The music was what they often played in the firehouse, eighties and nineties pop hits.

Erin smiled at Abby. “Dance with me now?”

Patty took Abby's drink and gave her a light shove. “I got your drink. Go dance with your girl.”

Holtz couldn't see in the dim light but she'd bet by Abby's smile that her best friend was blushing. Holtz gave her a wink before she and Erin hit the dancefloor.

“You wanna dance?” came a deep voice from Patty's right. A tall man with a bright smile glanced over Patty's frame and Holtz felt a completely unfamiliar feeling fill her.

She felt a strong urge to shove this guy and declare he was in no possible way good enough for Patty.

Patty gave him a polite smile. “Nah, I'm good.”

He remained unconvinced. “Just one little dance?”

“She said no.” Holtz moved in front of Patty and couldn't pinpoint when the urge to do so found her or how she moved so quickly.

Patty moved to stand beside her and quirked an eyebrow. She addressed the man again. “I’m sure you can find someone else.”

The man rolled his eyes and Holtz thought he muttered something about 'fucking dykes’ under his breath.

Holtz raised her fist to stalk after him but was stopped by a gentle hand on her forearm.

“Ain’t worth it, baby.”

She lowered her hand and turned around to Patty.

Patty tilted her head to the side and smiled. “Where did the need to defend my honor come from?”

Holtz tilted her head. “What?”

Patty gestured between them. “That part where you stood in front of me like you were goin’ to fight him. Bless you, baby, but I don’t think your odds were good.”

Holtz shrugged and crossed her arms. “You underestimate me.”

Patty glanced down at her and lowered her voice. “Do I?”

There were those chills again. It would be so easy to just reach up and kiss her but Holtz couldn’t quite tell if Patty was joking. Holtz nodded. “I’ll always defend you, Patty.”

Patty gave her a warm smile and her voice returned to a regular volume. “Well, thank you, Holtzy.” She pointed toward the dancefloor.  “Looks like Abby and Erin are coming back. How bout some dancin’?”

Holtz smiled. She could sort out all these new sensations later. She’d just have fun for now.

* * *

The trouble started with a weapon malfunction during a bust. In retrospect, Holtz should have seen it. It was so simple to catch but she skipped her last check to go shopping with Patty and now, Abby’s gun was spiraling out of control and she wasn’t sure how to stop her and catch the ghost at the same time.

Erin flipped on an attachment to her gun and motioned for Patty to get in position. “Holtz!” she called.

Holtz looked away from Abby and glanced at Erin.

“Aim for the middle! Patty can get the right side and I got Abby.”

Holtz nodded. It was a solid plan and it worked, except Abby twisted her ankle on the way down and her pack was damaged. It would take at least a week to fix.

When they got back to the station, Abby hobbled in, leaning on Patty’s arm. “I’m good, Holtz, I swear.”

She looked fine but Holtz couldn’t stop her mind from ruminating over the shopping, the missed check and the distracting nature of her free time with Patty. Home was important, Patty claimed, but work was more important. Their ability to do their work and every single one of them staying in one piece was more important. She needed to fix this.

Holtz bounded up to her lab with Abby’s pack. If she could just fix something it would be fine. A small chunk of her work table blew up an hour later, leaving her hands burnt and Abby’s pack worse off than when she started.

Patty steered her away from her lab and stated, “We gotta get you out of here, baby. Let’s go home.”

Holtz shook her head. She’d done worse, she could work through it if Patty would just let her do it.  She wanted to scream at Patty. Home was the problem, didn’t she see? She was outvoted though when Abby and Erin agreed.

They were huddled on a couch on the first floor with Abby’s ankle wrapped and rested on a cushion in Erin’s lap.

Erin nodded at her. “We’ll make sure it’s safe.” Holtz’s eyes widened in protest.

Abby waved her hand at her. “We’ll make sure it’s not worse.”

Holtz didn’t see why they got to stay and she couldn’t, but Patty treated her burns and they were on their way.

When they entered Holtz’s apartment, she surveyed the living room and stated, “The room is wrong.”

Patty quirked an eyebrow. “You want me to move some stuff?”

_Yes, all of it,_ Holtz thought. It was all too much to think about and her work. Things were so much easier when work was the focus.  She couldn’t make out how to say so. She pointed to her new ottoman near Patty’s chair. “In the center.”

Patty moved toward the ottoman but shook her head at the placement idea.

“Baby, are you sure? Maybe if you just-”

“No! Stop!” Holtz threw her hands over her ears. It was overwhelming. She’d failed and she couldn’t make anything right today.

Patty sat down with concern in her eyes. She asked gently, “Holtzy, what is goin’ on?”

Holtz nodded toward her. “You trying to change everything. What does it even matter? Huh? It doesn’t. No one is going to care how it looks, Patty. Aesthetics are unimportant. I don’t understand why you can’t...” She picked up a pillow and threw it at Patty. “You wouldn’t ever get it. You just care too much.”

Patty ducked the pillow and stood up. “I’m trying to help you but I don’t have to. Not if you don’t want it.”

She didn’t want it. She wanted her old life back. The simplicity without the distraction. The buzz of new innovation and the easier navigation of science. “Maybe I don’t. I never asked for this and all you do is shove it down my throat.”

Patty narrowed her eyebrows. “You never asked for what?”

“You being here with your noise, your things, your shopping. It’s just in the way.”

Patty crossed her arms and her voice was lower than Holtz had ever heard it. “You offered for me to be here or did you forget that all of the sudden? We were fine.”

Holtz shook her head. “No, you’re fine because we always have to do things your way.”

Patty’s eyes widened and she moved toward the door, as she turned, she said, “You’re a fucking adult and you make your own damn decisions. I’m not forcin’ your ass to do anything.”

Holtz shook her head. “You do, you always tell me things would be easier if I did this or that. You use your nicknames and your smile to coax me into changing.”

Patty shook her head. “You know what? I have no idea what’s wrong with you. Whatever it is, it ain’t about me. Call me when you figure your shit out.” Patty stormed toward the front door and grabbed her purse.

It took a half hour for Holtz to realize Patty had actually left. She’d left and Holtz hadn’t wanted that. She just wanted to go back to what she knew but she didn’t want Patty gone.

Her phone chimed with a message.

_Patty is staying with us tonight._

It was Erin. Holtz shook her head and moved to lay down. She really couldn’t do anything right today.

* * *

When Holtz woke the next morning, she was covered in a blanket that she didn’t remember grabbing that smelled an awful lot like Patty. As she sat up, she noticed a note taped to it.

_Holtz,_

_I’m off to the archives. There’s leftovers in the fridge._

_~Patty_

Holtz shook her head. Patty had addressed it ‘Holtz’ and she never called her that. The sight of it in Patty’s loopy script made her heart sink. She thought briefly of the day before and sighed. This whole friendship thing wasn’t getting any easier.

She paused at the thought of the word friendship. Somehow, it didn’t seem to fit anymore. She thought of their night out dancing, the last few weeks and the warm feeling that had a habit of creeping in. She needed a way to be ‘Holtzy’ again and she needed Patty back.

Holtz thought of going to Abby first. She needed to apologize she knew but she had no idea where to start. Then she remembered how pissed Erin had been when Abby published their book and rethought her approach. Erin did ultimately make up for a years-long feud and while Holtz hoped she didn't have to jump into a vortex, she'd do it if it brought Patty back.

She headed straight for the firehouse and found Erin in front of the sink, filling a tea kettle. Holtz nodded as Erin turned at her entrance.

“Dr. Gilbert.”

Erin narrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Holtzmann.”

Holtz started to fiddle her thumbs. She hadn’t really worked out what to say past hello and asking about Patty.

Erin glanced at her fidgeting and took pity on her. “You came to talk about Patty?”

Holtz’s head snapped up. “Correct.”

Erin nodded as she moved the kettle to the stove. “You really hurt her feelings.”

Holtz had thought as much but to hear it out loud was another thing entirely. She dropped her hands. “I don’t know how-”

“A present usually works,” said Erin while she turned on the burner. Her tone was curt in a way Holtz had never heard it.

“Present?”

Erin crossed her arms and leaned against the counter. “Yeah, a way to show you’re sorry. You are sorry, aren’t you?”

Holtz nodded slowly. “The sorriest. What sort of thing illustrates that?”

Erin shrugged. “I made Abby a mixtape after our first date and dinner. She wasn’t a big fan of either but she appreciated the effort.” She paused for a moment before she continued, “At least I think she did. Anyway, I dove into a vortex after an eighteen year fight so I think you’re somewhere in between.”

Holtz’s eyes widened. That didn’t really help.

Erin tilted her head and softened her tone. “She’ll like whatever it is, Holtz. Just let her know you’re sorry. Make sure to actually say the words, too. Patty deserves it.”

Holtz nodded. “Thanks, Erin.”

Erin nodded as the kettle whistled. “You’re Welcome. Don’t forget, say the words with the present. Be clear about what you mean.”

She turned back to the kettle but reconsidered and turned back to Holtz. “I’m not really supposed to tell you but she’ll be back tonight for some things. If you apologize then, she’ll probably stay.”

Holtzmann smiled. “You’re a genius, Erin Gilbert, even if you don’t understand that bowties shouldn’t be skinner than pencils.”

Erin raised her eyebrows. “Thank you?”

Holtz left; she only had a few hours and what she had in mind would take the majority of it.

* * *

Holtz contemplated popping out from the hallway when Patty arrived but remembered Patty didn’t actually appreciate being scared. This left her with the option of pacing nervously while she waited for Patty to make an appearance. She went over her different apology options.

“Patty, I’m sorry.”

“Patricia, I hope you can forgive me.”

“Pats, I lost it and I can’t-”

She heard the lock in the door and stopped in the middle of the floor. It was only a minute before Patty halted on her way to her room and looked up at her.

She stared at Holtz with an expression Holtz had yet to be the cause of. She looked exhausted, weary, but most of all she looked hurt and maybe a little scared. Not in the good way like when Holtz gave her the prized ghost chipper. It was in that way she looked after they watched that Barbra Streisand movie Erin sobbed during. Holtz was trying to remember the name when Patty spoke.

“Holtz.” It was so direct that it jolted Holtz out of her thinking and caused her eyes to go straight to Patty’s.

“Patty.” The rest of any of her speeches left her brain and she cursed herself for not at least making notes for backup.

Patty waited a moment before she turned to go to her room. Holtz ran from her spot but stopped a good distance from Patty’s side. “There’s something for you.”

Patty tilted her head in consideration, hesitating a little before she whispered, “I can get it later.”

Holtz did her best not to yell since she knew it hadn’t worked out well the day before. “Please, Pats?” She didn’t dare look at Patty and concentrated her focus on Patty’s shoes. She’d be able to tell Patty’s decision based on which direction she pointed her feet.

Holtz breathed a sigh of relief as Patty turned toward her and finally she looked up.

“It’s in here.” Holtz pointed toward an object in the living room. Patty didn’t move but she looked in the general direction. Holtz decided that was good enough.

She moved toward the object and set aside the pink bow she’d placed on it. “I made a coffee table. I know you were frustrated when I couldn’t pick a good one and I never really understood the point of them. A table just for coffee?”

Patty moved a little toward her then crossed her arms as her eyes dropped to the table.

Holtz swayed on her feet a little. “I think though, you’d like one?”

Patty narrowed her eyebrows and walked in a little bit more.

Holtz moved toward the crank on the side of the table. She started to explain. “I put old maps of New York from your most preferred time periods. You turn this and you can switch the maps at the same time you can see the gears shift through the glass.”

Patty moved to the edge of the table and stared down at it. Holtz wondered if she might need further explanation. “You like to know how things work and you like New York.  This way you get both.”

Patty nodded slowly but didn’t say anything.

Holtz tried to think of what she might of left out then smacked her palm to her forehead with realization. Right, the apology.

“I’m really sorry. I got all mixed up and confused and I yelled at you, which you hate. I like you, Patty.” She took a breath. “Here, I mean. I like you here and I like spending time making this place mine like you said. You didn’t deserve…”

She stopped when she heard Patty sniffle.

Patty wiped her eyes quickly and kept her arms crossed but her eyes were gentle. “So you made me a table?”

Holtz nodded as she adjusted her glasses. “I made you a table.”

“Thank you,” said Patty as she dropped her arms.

Holtz licked her lips and whispered,“You’re welcome.”

Patty moved to stand beside her. “I’m not a fool, Holtzy, I know people fight but just remember I’m not your enemy, ok?”

Holtz nodded vigorously. “I won’t forget.”

Patty pointed at the crank. “Show me again.”

Holtz bent and turned the crank again, delighted by the contented sigh Patty let out. She looked up and gestured toward it. “Feel free to try.”

Holtz moved so Patty could kneel next to the table. While Patty turned the maps a few times, Holtz confessed, “I don’t want you to leave.”

Patty stopped and peered up at her.

“I hate that what I did made you leave.”

Patty nodded and stood. She waited a moment then gently took Holtz’s hand in hers. “I just needed a little space. I would have come back. It’s never for good, baby. You get that right?”

Holtz nodded even though she hadn’t known that.

Patty considered her a moment. “Next time, I’ll make sure you know where I’m going.”

Holtz gave her a small smile at that.

Patty gave her hand a light squeeze and asked, “How ‘bout I order us a pizza and we talk about some of the stuff I found in my research today?”

Holtz threw her a thumbs up. “Sounds like a plan, Stan.”

Patty nodded and called their usual place. Holtz felt the weight of the day before lift as Patty rattled off their order by memory and patted the space next to her on the couch. She settled in and listened to Patty talk about her day. By the time the pizza arrived, they were laughing and Holtz finally felt a little lighter.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are just the best readers anyone could ask for! Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments. Heads up, next chapter is mostly to blame for the M rating of this fic.


	3. Call Me Home

 

> _Never change, Never stop_
> 
> _Now it’s gone, it doesn’t matter what for_
> 
> _When you build your house then_ **_call me home_**

“Sara”~Fleetwood Mac

It was still light out when Holtz left the firehouse, a rare occurrence for her, but Patty had promised a movie night with cheesy sci-fi and she didn’t want to miss it. She picked up cupcakes on the way since she wasn’t completely sure Patty wasn’t still a little mad from their fight a couple weeks ago. She’d said she loved the table and hadn’t brought it up since but Holtz felt like there might still be some strain between them.

She bounded up to the door and was glad when she found it already unlocked. She made sure to put her shoes on the shoe rack and called out, “Hey, Pat-tay, I got those cupcakes you like…” she paused when she saw who was standing in the living room. She almost dropped the cupcakes in shock.

She placed them on the dining table she found with Patty the week before and took comfort in the grounding it provided. At the thought of Patty, she spotted her standing behind her favorite chair. She looked a little unsure but had obviously tried to engage the other person in friendly conversation. _Poor Patty,_ she thought. She had no idea there was no depth beyond the shallow soul of this person.

“Hey there, Jilly-bean. I was just getting to know,” she gestured toward Patty and spit out the rest of her statement like it pained her somehow to admit it, “your friend.”

Holtz noticed Patty’s hands grip the back of the chair a little harder but her smile was polite as Karen nodded toward her. Holtz wiped her hands on her jeans before she crossed them and addressed her sister. “I do not answer to that name, Karen.” Her voice was steadier than the last time they’d been in the same room together. She could still feel the old anxious feeling rise up however and she kept stealing glances at Patty to remind herself she wasn’t alone.

Karen circled the room and quirked an eyebrow at Holtz’s workbench in the corner. “It’s your name, Jilly.” Her voice was laced with that sterile sweetness she’d perfected from Holtz’s mother.

Karen was everything Holtz could never be. An accomplished debutante who’d married well after she finished college and campaigned for her governor husband while raising her two perfect children.

Holtz shook her head. “What do you want?”

Karen scoffed at her. “Can’t I come and visit my dear little sister?” She said it like a challenge and Holtz geared herself up for a fight.

Holtz cocked her head to the side. “You’re not usually up for visiting me these days.”

Patty cleared her throat, temporarily cutting through the tension. “I’mma let y’all catch up. It was nice to meet you, Karen.”

Holtz wanted to ask her to stay but she knew a Holtzmann sister fight wasn’t exactly a good place to be. She did turn to her though and offered, “You can take the cupcakes.”

Patty smiled at her and winked. “We can share ‘em later.” Holtz knew in that smile that she shouldn’t have worried about any lingering animosity and she wished in that moment she could just follow Patty and leave her sister here.

Holtz watched Patty until she saw her close her bedroom door. She turned back to Karen who tilted her head  and raised her eyebrows. “Honestly, Jilly,” she moved to sit on the couch which felt like an imposition since she’d chosen Patty’s spot. She primly crossed her ankles as she rolled her eyes at the coffee table. “It’s one thing that you’ve opted for a sapphic inclination but you could use some discretion in partners. She’s not even one of your associates with a PhD.”

Holtz rolled her eyes as she moved to stand next to the couch. “Ralph’s wife doesn’t have one either.”

Karen sighed at the mention of their younger brother’s spouse. “God, don’t remind me of that woman.”

Holtz matched her sigh with a frustrated one of her own. “And neither do you.”

Karen rolled her eyes. “I had better things to do with my time, Jilly. How do you think I climbed up the ranks of the DAR?”

Holtz dropped her arms and balled her fists. “What did you come for?” Holtz had been so excited for cupcakes, laughing, and Patty. She didn’t have time for a sister who never thought to give a damn.

Karen threw her hands up. “I came to check on you. Seriously, Jill, it was bad enough when you took a position at that sorry excuse for a college but now you’re running around chasing ghosts?”

“Catching them,” Holtz countered.

Karen raised her eyebrows. “What?”

Holtz gave her sister an unimpressed glare. “We don’t just chase, we catch.”

“Well, whatever, I came to let you know I arranged for a position at NASA, at least that won’t be an embarrassment around the Christmas table.”

Holtz crossed her arms again. “I have a job.”

Karen laughed and stood up. A derisive one that made Holtz’s blood run cold. Condescension was another trait of their mother’s Karen always excelled at. “You can’t be serious, Jilly. This is your _life_ , we’re talking about. You can’t really expect to get anywhere chasing imaginary creatures with pseudoscience and hanging out with women who talk like common ghetto trash.”

Holtz grabbed Karen’s arm and yanked her toward the door. “You can go fuck yourself, Karen.” She pushed her sister through the door and slammed it in her face.

Karen slammed a hand against the door. “I won’t be back again, Jilly. This is a one time offer to mend fences.”

“Fences are overrated,” Holtz shouted back.

“Have it your way,” Karen commented.

Holtz pushed off from the door and moved into the living room. She paced around the couch and went through plans to blow up her sister’s house if she could only remember where it was and arrange for her nieces to be out at the time of explosion.

Patty walked in a few minutes later and stopped in front of her. She asked softly, “You ok?”

Holtz flung herself at Patty. She wrapped her hands around Patty’s middle and as Patty bent to hug her back, she placed her forehead against Patty’s shoulder. She started to shake and it wasn’t long before she had tears falling down her face. It confused her since she was mad more than anything but Karen always had a way of reducing her to tears.

Patty rubbed her back as she pulled her to the recliner. She sat down and patted her lap as Holtz climbed in and wrapped her arms around Patty’s shoulders and snuggled into Patty’s neck. Patty rocked the chair slightly and Holtz stopped shaking.

After a few moments, Patty spoke. “You know, I don’t like to talk about other people’s family but your sister is a straight up bitch.”

Holtz nodded against her neck. “Accurate assessment.”

Patty pressed her cheek against the top of Holtz’s head. “You grab the cupcakes, I’ll order Chinese, and we’ll watch our movies.”

Holtz jumped up out of Patty’s lap and grabbed the box of cupcakes. “Sounds good.”

Patty paused as she reached for her phone. “Hey, you’re allowed to point out when the science stuff is flawed but no talking during the parts I haven’t seen yet.”

Holtz’s face fell and Patty rolled her eyes. “It won’t be that hard.”

“Fine,” said Holtz as she drew out the word. She reached up with a cupcake as she sat in front of Patty’s chair with the remote and heard her finish their order. She flipped on the T.V. and queued up the movie.

She knew Karen would keep her promise to never return. A sense of freedom spread through her at the thought and she smiled. Her old life was not something she needed to return to in the least.  

* * *

Patty paused in front of Holtz’s door. Holtz felt a delighted chill run up her spine. How was she supposed to survive being in a room with Patty near a bed without all of the thoughts about what they could do in that bed running through her mind? She was going to need a way to tell Patty about these extra feelings sometime soon. There were moments, moments where she thought Patty knew but Holtz could never find the right words to bring it up.

“Alright, last room is your bedroom,” commented Patty as she pointed at the door.

Holtz waggled her eyebrows. “That an invitation, Pats?” Yep, here was one of those moments.

Patty laughed. “Not today, Holtzy.”

Holtz pointed a finger in her direction and walked backward into the room. “But not never.”

Patty rolled her eyes and followed her in. “Come on.” She took a look around and sighed. “Not a lot to work with.”

“Yeah, but we’ve made magic before.”

Patty nodded. “We have.” She pointed at the comforter. “Bright red isn’t exactly the most calming color. No wonder your ass never sleeps.”

Holtz shook a finger at her. “Oh, it falls asleep constantly, it’s the rest of me that’s reluctant to follow.”

Patty shook her head and paused at the nightstand. She ran her hand over the top. “This is nice. Your aunt’s?”

Holtz nodded. “There’s a carving in the side with my initials. She let me hide in here during a dinner party.”

Patty pushed the nightstand out and saw the carving. There was a very small J interlocked in a large H. “I like it.” Holtz smiled. “But that comforter needs to go.”

Holtz shrugged. She wasn’t particularly attached to it anyway.

Patty gestured toward the small T.V. “You shouldn’t have one of those either, messes with your REM cycle.”

Holtz nodded. She didn’t use it much either. Patty pointed out a few more areas that they could add to and they were off to the store for the last time.

* * *

Holtz trudged in after finishing Abby’s new proton pack addition and kicked her shoes off in the general direction of the shoe rack. She heard familiar small instrumental sounds from one of Patty’s favorite shows. She smiled, knowing it meant Patty would be up.

She found her curled up on the couch with a ball of yarn in her lap and a crochet hook in one hand. Patty looked up from her project and smiled. Instead of the warmth Holtz was used to, it was like someone planted fireworks in her stomach. Here sat this beautiful woman nestled on that couch Holtz no longer hated because it had one of Patty’s favorite spots. It was Patty’s place.

The same could be said about the apartment when Holtz thought about it. Patty’s books took up more of the bookshelves than Holtz’s, her apron hung in the kitchen, and her coat was always hanging in the doorway next to Holtz’s vast array. Everything felt like it’d become theirs together. That couch was an eyesore for Holtz before and now it was the place they watched movies, ate take out, and laughed over Kevin, Erin, and Abby.

It struck her all at once, everything Patty had become to her. She leaned her head against the wall as she continued to stare at Patty. She sighed and muttered, “I love you.”

Patty winked. “I love you, too, baby.” She continued to thread her yarn through what looked like endless hoops.

Holtz shook her head and moved to kneel at Patty’s side. “No,” she whispered urgently.  

Patty quirked an eyebrow and peered down at her. When Holtz didn’t elaborate, Patty set her project down and turned off the T.V. “O.K. what’s going on?”

Holtz took a deep breath. “The reason for the warmth and the fireworks and the cicadas.”

Patty raised her eyebrows and her eyes searched Holtz’s for a better understanding. “I feel like there’s something that makes sense in there but damn if I can catch it.”

Holtz laughed and pulled herself up to sit next to Patty. She brought her hands up to Patty’s face and stroked her cheekbones with her thumbs. “I love you,” she repeated.

Patty looked at her hard for a moment in the way that Holtz knew meant she wondered if Holtz was kidding. “You love me? Like a beyond friends kinda thing?”

Holtz wiggled her eyebrows. “Now you’re catching on, Patricia.” She moved Patty’s project out of her lap and threw her leg across it. She hovered above Patty’s lips as Patty brought her hands to Holtz’s waist. Holtz smiled before she closed the remaining distance and moved her lips over Patty’s.

Patty tightened her hands around Holtz’s waist as she began to add pressure to their kiss. It resulted in tingle that ran from Holtz’s arms to her toes. She could get used to this.

Patty moved from her lips to Holtz’s chin and Holtz sighed happily when Patty found a spot at the base of Holtz’s neck that always did the trick. Holtz bit her lip and tried to push her body closer to Patty's, feeling like she might never be close enough. 

She moved one hand behind Patty’s neck and used the other to grip the back of the couch as Patty moved Holtz’s shirt collar in an effort to kiss more and more skin. Patty slowly ran her hand up the back of Holtz’s shirt and Holtz let out a moan at the contact. She felt Patty smile against her skin as she kissed her way back up to Holtz’s mouth.

Patty pulled one hand free from Holtz’s collar and stroked her face. Holtz took a deep breath as she squeezed her legs around Patty’s lap. Patty winked. “Just so we clear, I love you, too.”

Holtz leaned forward and covered Patty lips with her own, beaming as she continued to kiss her. Patty moaned as Holtz began her own exploration of Patty’s neck. Holtz ran her hands around Patty’s shoulders, thankful for the tank top Patty was in.

She scooted back in Patty’s lap and felt Patty move her hands to anchor her. She kissed along Patty’s collarbone and groaned when she felt Patty move her hands toward Holtz’s ass. Patty giggled, “I thought you’d like that.”

Holtz turned up to glance at Patty’s smirk. “Yeah? How many times have you thought about this?”

Patty smiled. “Too many to count.”

Holtz’s lips slipped into a sly grin and she brought her arms around Patty’s shoulders.

“Bedroom?” she muffled against Patty’s neck.

Patty nodded and attempted to stand up. When Holtz didn’t change her position Patty raised her eyebrows. “You gonna move?”

Holtz tilted her head and gave Patty an expectant look. “Carry me?”

Patty laughed. “Carry you?”

Holtz nodded and raised her eyebrows as if the option were the only logical one. “I can kiss you on the way.”

Patty shrugged a shoulder. “Can’t argue with that. Yours is closer so you better be good with that.” Patty stood and Holtz adjusted herself a little higher and wrapped her legs around Patty when she stood fully.

Holtz lowered her lips to Patty’s as Patty walked toward Holtz’s bedroom. When they parted she whispered, “See?”

Patty nodded. “Yeah, but it doesn’t help me see where I’m going.”

Holtz rolled her eyes. “Insignificant detail.”

Patty rolled her eyes and readjusted Holtz, making her way to the bedroom in less strides than it ever took Holtz. Holtz knew it was probably Patty’s height but she chose to believe it was because Patty’s eagerness matched her own.

They fell a little clumsily on Holtz’s bed but Holtz didn’t have time to think about it as Patty threw off her shirt and leaned down to capture Holtz’s lips again.

Holtz ran her hands up Patty’s arms, delighted that she could now touch Patty in all the ways she’d thought about in the past month. She was overwhelmed by the constant urge to pull Patty closer. She wrapped her legs around Patty’s waist and delighted in the friction created by the undulation of Patty’s hips.

“Hmm,” Holtz moaned as she brought one hand to cup Patty’s side and squeezed.

Patty’s pulled at the hem of Holtz’s shirt. Holtz lifted her arms and twisted them trying to help Patty pull it off. Her enthusiasm proved a hindrance when she practically got tangled up in it. Holtz whined at her inability to be smoother. 

Patty chuckled and steadied Holtz. “I’ll get you out, baby, calm down.”

Holtz huffed as she stopped and let Patty pull the shirt the rest of the way. She smiled when she saw Patty’s face again. Patty smirked at her. “Better?”

Holtz tilted her head. “Almost.” She squeezed her legs and pulled Patty’s body to the side. Patty moved easily and adjusted to lie on her back.

Holtz resettled on top of her and commented, “Better now.”

Patty rolled her eyes. “Should have known.”

Holtz tilted her head. “What?”

Patty gestured toward Holtz’s position. “You like to be on top.”

Holtz winked. “Not the whole time.”

She ran her hands up and down Patty’s stomach slowly before she stopped at the edge of Patty’s bra and reached around her back to unhook it. Patty arched her back to help and let out a heavy sigh when Holtz’s mouth landed on her breast. Holtz kissed her way to Patty’s nipple and was rewarded with a pleased moan from Patty as she started to lick circles around it. She wrapped her arm across Patty's lower back, an attempt to bring them closer as she moved against her. 

Patty ran her hand up Holtz’s neck and slipped her fingers into her hair. She pulled gently and the action made Holtz’s eyes squeeze shut as she let out a moan against Patty’s breast. Patty continued with a few of her own as Holtz’s hand moved into the waistband of Patty’s shorts.

Patty bucked her hips at the new angle and slid a hand into the back of Holtz’s pants. Holtz lifted up so Patty could help her remove them. Patty moaned at the contact of Holtz’s now bare legs against her own.

Holtz moved her mouth to Patty’s neck as she continued to work her hand in Patty’s shorts. She smiled against Patty’s neck as Patty moaned, “God, baby.”

Patty moved her hands to Holtz’s ass as Holtz hit a particular sensitive spot and Holtz committed the position to memory.

Patty’s moans increased in volume and frequency before she went still. “Shit,” she cried before she relaxed. Holtz slowly removed her hand and rested on her side as Patty’s breathing regulated.

After a few minutes, Patty smiled slowly and threw a leg over Holtz. “My turn.”

Holtz smiled and spread open her arms. “I’m yours, Patricia.”

Patty laughed and ran her hands along Holtz’s arms, squeezing both of her hands. “Yeah, you are.”  

She let go of Holtz’s hands and ran her own down to the edge of Holtz’s sports bra. She lingered there for a moment before she pulled it off quickly. Holtz gasped at the sensation of cold air on her newly exposed skin. It wasn't long though until she felt the warmth of Patty's body and mouth move against her.

Patty leaned down and kissed her way from the base of Holtz’s neck to her breast. She looked up when she reached Holtz’s nipple and winked. “All mine.”

Holtz arched her back to bring her closer to Patty’s mouth and moaned as Patty started to pull her nipple up by sucking it lightly. Patty kissed her way back up to Holtz’s mouth when Holtz thought she might burst.

Patty stroked one hand down Holtz’s stomach and made her way between Holtz’s legs while her other hand found its way to Holtz’s hair again. Patty smiled as Holtz’s eyes slid shut and Holtz begged, “Please.”

Patty kissed her cheek and whispered, “I got you, baby.” Holtz moaned and bit her lip as Patty’s fingers stroked circles around her clit.

“Damn,” Holtz breathed.

Patty’s voice whispered in her ear. “Hmm, you look good like this, Holtzy.”

Holtz moaned against Patty’s continued strokes against her clit in tandem to Patty’s fingers in her hair. She grabbed Patty’s arm when she came a little while later. Patty waited for her to calm down completely then gently released her hand and kissed Holtz lightly on the lips. “Don’t fall asleep too long, baby. We got to make up for lost time.”

Holtz nodded slowly. She couldn’t agree more.

* * *

It would be Holtz’s luck that the one day Kevin was effective at his job, the end result would be some sort of devastating blow.

The past week had been so full of everything Holtz had come to love; ghostbusting, machinery building, hanging out with her team and most of all, Patty. Patty with her frilly house slippers, nights on the couch laughing at old movies, reading her favorite passages while Holtz explained her latest projects. The new aspect of their relationship slipped into her routine so easily that Holtz cursed herself for not realizing what a great idea it was to date Patty months ago.

Then one evening, they returned from a bust to find Kevin concentrated heavily on a piece of paper. He looked up at them and handed it to Patty. “Message for you.”

They all stared at him, stunned he’d actually manage to write anything down. In fact, Holtz murmured, “I didn’t know he could write.”

Erin shushed her and Patty read her message.

She looked up and found Holtz’s eyes immediately. “I got an apartment.”

Holtz tilted her head. “Oh.”

Patty lifted the small square of paper. “Yeah, it’s a message from the real estate agent.”

Holtz nodded slowly. “Good, that’s what you’ve been waiting for.”

Patty quirked an eyebrow. “But I-”

Holtz leaned over and squeezed her arm “Congratulations, Pats.” Her tone was flat, a little detached.

Abby squinted at Holtz and Erin offered a weak, “Yeah, congratulations, Patty.”

Patty gave her a polite smile. “Thank you, Erin.” She turned to Holtz and added, “I’ll be out of your way now.”

The statement was weighted like an unanswered question existed in it but Holtz couldn't think beyond the realization that this was always where things were meant to end. 

She sighed and muttered, “Yeah.”

There was so much more she wanted to say but she suddenly felt tired and unsure of how to explain to Patty that not only had she never been in the way, she’d made everything brighter. She shrugged off her bag and headed to the showers.

* * *

The day before Patty was scheduled to move her things, Holtz heard her come in a few hours after Holtz had tried to go to sleep. She heard Patty’s door open from down the hallway and crept out of her room, making her way toward Patty’s.

Holtz lingered in the doorway and watched as Patty sifted through her clothes in the closet and moved to the chest of drawers.

This was wrong. Patty needed to stay. Everything would fall apart if she left and Holtzmann knew finally that it wasn’t because she couldn’t be here without Patty. It was because she didn’t want to be anymore. The sound of Patty opening the top drawer finally caused Holtz to move from her position in the doorway.

She placed her hand on Patty’s forearm. “No.”

Patty turned and tilted her head. “What?”

Holtz thought of their movie nights, the rows of Patty’s books, that coffee table Holtz built for the two of them full of maps and parts. She needed Patty to stay because the maps and the parts worked. They _moved together_. She had to explain to Patty about the warmth in her chest that might leave if Patty did and she didn’t want that. Erin said once that there’s a moment in all those stupid romantic movies she and Patty constantly watched. A moment where all the feelings spilled out in a beautiful speech. Holtz needed that in this moment with Patty looking at her and trying to figure out what was off.

But how did that speech even happen?

Patty placed her hand over Holtz’s. “Ok, you’re scaring me a little and not in the genius way. What’s up?”

Patty deserved The Speech. She needed to know how well everything fit now. She needed to know how she helped Holtz take what felt like an empty place and turned into into a piece that fit in the puzzle of her life. She couldn’t figure out how to say it though. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, hoping the words would just fall out but she couldn't get them to. Instead, she stated a simple, “Stay.”

Patty quirked an eyebrow and Holtz thought she saw the corner of Patty’s mouth twitch into a hint of a smile. “Say what now?”

Holtz smiled at her teasing and turned Patty to face her. She brought both hands to Patty’s arms and squeezed. “Stay here with me.”

Patty squeezed Holtz’s upper arms. “You sure, baby? Because we can always wait on the moving in thing. It wouldn’t change us.”

“I want you here,” said Holtz as she leaned forward and Patty leaned down to meet her. Holtz pressed her forehead against Patty’s. “Everything works better with you.”

Patty brought her hands up to Holtz’s face. “I’ll stay.” She brought her lips to Holtz’s as Holtz let out a sigh of relief.

 _Patty’s home_ , she thought and the familiar warmth spread through to her toes.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this fic and let me know what you thought. I hope this last bit is something you enjoyed. Thanks again to DiNovia for being a great beta and friend. Also amtrak12 for the original idea and her endless support. I adore this ship so much and I'm always up for chatting about it so feel free to come find me on tumblr. Y'all rock!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Build Your House and Call Me Home](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9125587) by [RsCreighton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RsCreighton/pseuds/RsCreighton), [SomethingIncorporeal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomethingIncorporeal/pseuds/SomethingIncorporeal)




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